Day Six - pick up sticks (and cry a little)

Yesterday was day six, and it was the worst yet. Not bad in terms of holding out from sugar - that has become relatively simple. It was just the tears, the body aches, the emotions. It's possible I'm also running a virus at the same time as giving up sugar, or it's possible that these symptoms are part of the withdrawal process. 

All I know was that there was barely a room I entered yesterday that did not see me burst into tears in it's surrounds. 

So that's why I say Day Six, pick up sticks. In the same way the Zen proverb "chop wood, carry water". Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. Life must go on, sticks still need to be picked up, and pick them up I will. 

The psychological addiction to sugar is the biggest stumping post I run up against - just the usual way I have of bringing forth my "energy" for a big day with work or the kids, it doesn't work anymore. Coffee makes me feel ill, my body doesn't want it. 

So I have to listen to my body. SOmeone said to me yesterday - "Your body would not punish you. Your body is your best friend - it is always trying to tell us things and when we don't listen, we get chronically ill". She was a Dr. She has a point. 

Love,

CB

Thirty Three and Sugar Free; The Beginning

Hello There

I turned thirty three in September. I am an artist, a seeker of truth and highs, and I don't know who I am without my lifelong addiction to sugar. It's not yet a widely recognised addiction, but it's one that I recognise within myself, and want to explore.

I have always, and I mean always, loved sugar. My first joyful memories are of food, sweet food, junk food. I have indulged and battled my whole life with this love of over-eating. Of eating what I want to eat.

It occurred to me not so long ago that, hey presto, maybe I was addicted to sugar. Having been on and off diets since I was eight years old, it does surprise me that this did not occur to me earlier...

A series of experiments involving withdrawing sugar, and observing the consequences, leads me to believe that this is, indeed, the case.

So. 

I want to know who I am when I'm not chasing my fix. 

And this is what I intend to do; give up sugar for a year.  Radical, I know. Refined sugar, honey, jam, anything with more than 5% sugar in it, I pass it up. 

I have noticed, also, that when I drink wine or beer, I eat a whole lot more sugar immediately afterwards; it seems to trigger my sugar cravings. So sadly, these too will have to go. 

I suspect also that I am pretty reliant on coffee, and find that without it, my moods are more level, my thinking is less frantic. I am not 100% committed to giving it up (although I have for the last three days), because I worry that one must have at least one little vice or thing to look forward to in one's day!

But is this just feeding in to addictive thinking? If yes, ok, but is this what I want? 

This is an experiment, and the point is to see if giving up sugar means I will be able to live a happier life without it. 

I guess an endeavor of this size takes a lot of planning. I will get on to that right now. 

I plan to log my journey, as a way of seeing what unfolds. 

Yours Sincerely,

Clare Brown